Sunday, April 24, 2011

When I was married to the Incubus I often daydreamed about how I was going to eventually leave my own little personal hell and run off with Kenny Chesney and live happily ever after. Then when I discovered that he was much shorter than me, I realized it would just never work! I could never date someone shorter than me. So I turned my focus to dreams about being in love rather than focusing on a particular partner.

Anytime I was driving I thought about how once I get divorced I am going to meet the man of my dreams, he is going to treat me like a queen, love my kids like his own, and love me for me. He would become my protector rather than my abuser. I was excited about the idea of dating, because I never really got a chance to since I got pregnant at 17, and stayed in a commited marriage for 7 years. I would finally get to enjoy my 20's and live this amazing life! Then when I finally got out of my abusive marriage I quickly realized that being single was not that great, and that dating sucked even more.

How I thought the single life was going to be was nothing remotely close to how it actually was. In my mind I just knew that guys were going to be approaching me and begging to take me out, but that was far from the truth. What was I thinking! I was a single mom of 2 kids, with stretch marks, and a fat ass! Yet, I thought guys would be begging to to get with me! lol

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